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10 Things To Do With A Dismembered Arm

September 30th, 2006 by My Lost Shadow

This is a funny little flash movie and I guess the title says it all.

Dial-up readers or any readers with slow internet connections (low bandwidth) should be armed with patience because the movie is quite large (aprox 4mb) and it may take a while to load. In order to view the movie click on more.

There is also a problem with IE which causes the movie to stretch and to make the sidemenu invisible.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Technicality | No Comments »

Open letter to God

September 30th, 2006 by My Lost Shadow

I have never believed in You but if You do exist consider this to be my prayer, my only demand.

I do not know if you are a merciful god and I don’t care; I don’t believe in a master plan in which every person has a part but is such plan exists I don’t want to be part of it. I am selfish; I don’t want to be the one who makes so many to suffer, who disapoints them and is the general asshole of the universe. I want to be left alone, I want to be free; I am no actor, I cannot play as one tells me to nor can I accept the puppet master as being real. People believe in you because they loose faith in themselves, because they want to feel as someone, or something is watching over them, listening to their prayers and making things right.

This is one of the reasons for which I hate you: you are a god that demands people to loose themselves so that they can be saved. I am not talking about reason here, I am talking about a kind of self trust that cannot be found in believers. I am talking about being able to accept the fact that they can be the best without your help, that they should do good not because some deity promises eternal happiness or sorrow depending on the actions here committed (see Insanity in eternity) but because they feel like doing good. A person should not be manipulated to waste his of her life on this world only to recive acces to another that is somewhat better or worse than this one. If a person wants to waste herself by commiting imoral acts let her, her reward will come in the form of her own selfdestruction and social tags on this world, not on some other plane of existence.

Let people embrace death and see it as a natural fenomenon without any religious conotations; because of you many are scared of death and see it as a punishment instead of seeing it as the final stage of individual evolution. Death brings its penalties but they apply depending on the persons life: if he did great things, he will be remembered by humanity, it he was a good person he will be remembered by his family and friends, but if he wasted his life he will fade along with his body, people will forget him and there is no greater punishment than not beeing remembered.

The church is your tool. A group of people giving orders and commands on behalf of a greater power. What has that brought to us? See the masacres during the crusades, the so called “holly wars”, see the situation of Israel, a state with no identity other than that which is given to it by the US from financing it (for let’s face it, Israel could not of survived if it wasn’t for the guard dog of the world), the holocaust, the inquisition. Look at most of the priests, the coruption they represent is greater than that of the politicians. So how, as a politically correct god do you allow them to represent you? They destroy all that you stand for and make you look evil. Is Satan another face of yours or just a rebel who got tired of you?

Dear god, I reccomand reading “The Last Question” by Isaac Asimov but he probably is in hell as a heretic so the chances of you reading that short story are small.

I end now this prayer by mentioning that I do not belive in your existance nor in any other deity, I do not belive in heaven or hell nor do I belive in a grand plan. I don’t want to be your actor, and if freedom can only be achieved by dying so be it.

Posted in Thoughts | 2 Comments »

Bucarest Francophone

September 28th, 2006 by My Lost Shadow

The clock is 7AM and I can’t sleep. I have been awake for about 4 hours, staring at the ceiling and thinking randomly. The first thing that came to my mind was the Bucarest Francophone Summit.

Bucarest Francophone The summit is a gathering of French speaking state leaders from all around the world; for the first time the summit is being held in an Eastern European Country so Romania took the preparations for this event very seriously.

In order to ensure the security of the guests all Bucharest state workers were given a three day holiday starting from 27th of September (Wednesday) and ending on 29th of September (Friday). Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Outer World | No Comments »

The hardest thing

September 27th, 2006 by My Lost Shadow

The hardest thing for me recently is to wake up in the morning without feeling her next to me, without smelling her perfume on my pillow and without feeling her warmth…

I love you, Andreea!

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Rain and fog

September 24th, 2006 by My Lost Shadow

Fog The day was sad, the light was almost missing and the sun was ill. The leafs were flying through the cold air and small rain drops were falling in the park.

The park… I thought it should of been a silent monument on that day, but instead I found a cheerful crowd and an orchestra; the tunes were sad in the moist air, or so they seemed to me, a wonderer lost in place that was expected to be cold and lonely. The old people surrounding the orchestra were happy to hear songs on which they spent their youth, songs on which they danced and laughed; the orchestra itself was happy, their faces bright and smiley, their bodies moving to the waves of sound that creped through the autumn air.

I was not pleased… I wanted to find a place where I could look deep inside myself and see the changes that made me feel so sad, but faith was no with me on that morning so I left in search of another park where I could finish my introspection or at least get some reading done.

I found that park and finished my book by the time Andreea arrived. The day was starting to smile, despite the general atmosphere that predicted rain. The air was still chilly but pleasant and the company of my beloved made everything brighten up. We laughed and talked and made our way to a place high up in the sky; we sat on pillows dark as night, my head in her arms, talking, whispering and thinking of random events, places, thoughts and enjoying life as it was. It started raining but we were safe in each others arms. The evening came and we departed, still laughing, hand in hand… The day ended with a kiss.

The rain and fog were here, but despite the general atmosphere, this day was so wonderful that I had to write about it.

Posted in Outer World | No Comments »

Stray night

September 23rd, 2006 by My Lost Shadow

The hour is about 3 AM. All of my guests are sleeping silently although crowded; the air in the room is warm, the silence unbearable and if I don’t get out I’ll go insane.

I grab my keys, get my shoes, take a look at my girlfriend who is sleeping next to one of my best friends and I realise how much I care for both of them, and how much I trust them. Slowly I reach the door and open it with care as not to awake them.

I find myself in the street; dark, empty, lonely and I suddenly realise that, in that moment, that street represents the way I feel. I start walking with no destination, thinking about myself, my friends and my dreams. The city is quiet, the traffic is almost missing except a car that passes me by, heading towards some great adventure, heading into the unknown in the search for something that I will never know nor understand. Read the rest of this entry »

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Progress

September 20th, 2006 by My Lost Shadow
Progress

I just finished editing the About page. Now you can find information about myself and how to contact me. I still have to add the text about Suicidal Tendency but now I am too tired to do anything thanks to a stressing day at school.

I’ve added a little thing that helps me relax and laugh at times. Hope you’ll enjoy it.

View the Video

Posted in Technicality | No Comments »

Work done!

September 18th, 2006 by My Lost Shadow

I’m glad I finished with moving the blog. Besides switching hosts (from Blogger.com to Evonet.ro) which brought me some advantages like more hosting space, direct access to the data base and the ability to create directory structures and to host my own files I also switched from the Blogger.com type blog to WordPress because of the larger theme base, plugins and categories.

Switching to WordPress caused a lot of trouble though because the import system destroys the image properties and so the page layout was ruined by some large images and I really wanted to keep the same aspect of the posts; this lead me to manually copy/pasting every post and then modifying the date/time setting so it was identical to the one on Blogspot. After that I had to do the same thing with the comments.

Another thing is that I can’t activate user registration because the server has problems with the mail() function. Comments can still be posted but only if you fill the Name and email address fields. Besides this I hope to install a forum soon, but only if I see some activity (visits) and after an open voting session. Those who want to have an account here can send me an email at Mail Me with the desired username and email address and I will create it for them. Besides this I hope to buy or rent a domain soon so that new readers will find this blog a lot easier.

That’s about all for today; I’m hoping to resume regular posting or at least creating a clear schedule (on the lines of a new update every Monday and Friday for example) while inclining for the first.

Posted in Technicality | No Comments »

No recent posts

September 17th, 2006 by My Lost Shadow

I’m sorry for not posting anything new here for so long but I want to change the host of this blog and I’m still waiting for them. Besides this I’m switching to WordPress so I have to change the host of all the photos on the blog temporarily to imageshack or else the import won’t get them too.

Posted in Technicality | No Comments »

Metamorphoses

September 7th, 2006 by My Lost Shadow
The mask has been put on.

The feelings are covered by the mantle of ice.

Reality has changed in order to accommodate me.I had to die so I could be reborn.

I had to be killed so I could become myself once again.

Posted in Thoughts | No Comments »

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